There is nothing anyone of us could as produce output if it was not connected to something in our selves. Theories are nothing but useless blah-blah, whenever they don't have roots in the basic ground and the 'producer' is not connected with his or her output and has not processed it through life. In such case those outputs only will be brain farts - excuse me for my wording today. What I would like to say is that of course, everything anyone produces is connected to him or her self. So it is with what I write. There is no 'big teacher' who is beyond everything. All that we bring forth consistently has to do with our selves. All we are is humans.
Seems it is a very special day today, again one of those mysterious inputs which is difficult to get into words and nevertheless is true. When an organism is connected and interwired in itself and with and from out of itself, it sometimes acts without that at first the conscious brain is aware or knows why. I have learned to cherish this gift very much and it was quite a way to disentangle the harnish also I was tried to be stuffed into, to the estate where in principle you are naked and just with a very soft skin which continuously senses, feels and receives information which is beyond the range of linearity.
As this day is special and I felt it coming, I lighted a candle last night, and again can not tell you why.
Only one thing is sure and has always proved itself through the events happening, sometimes much later: This intuition functions pretty well and is connected to much more than a just limited environment, as also the holder is connected to much more. This part has to do with opening up while at any time, this is a danger to be hit. I know well being a butterfly between tanks. It is a choice, of course, and often enough it's really quite tough. Maybe it is as my dear friend A. put it into picture: It is like living as a kind of lemur among a hord of baboons. Check out the behaviouristics of baboons and you will know what she and I are talking about. So may it be, I only hope the balance will be achieved soon. See, also me am looking foward to some thing happening. I just don't believe it is a spacecraft in the literal sense - maybe in the metaphorical sense, yes, it could be.
For the whole of my life and as I am no eremit but to the contrary, a very social being and communicator all along, I had to defend this against so clever and smart people who always 'knew better'. Time has shown that it usually was the other way around but they rid the conversation into arguments that could not be constructive anymore. At a point I needed to come to the conclusion that in the end, also communication is extremely limited if the people do not want to 'communicate' but merely argue and compete. I am not fond of having been 'right' or 'having known the outcome' which proves in the end and what I say I am speaking out as it just gets evident where some ways will lead to, and simply to take respective measures. Or a respective break to think over the respective measures in time and before things have to happen in ways that will harm one or the other, and would not need to take place. There are indeed some basic rules for this planet, similar to physical laws - that stuff the Egyptians used to call Ma-at.
A continuously learning being myself I also fall for the trap of projection, and in this I, same as anyone else, assume others to be such, too. Often I am very wrong in this regard. I know most people have given up long ago and keep on surviving somehow in that shell, that pod put on and hardened long time ago, which is hindering from growing, stretching, moving; still my projections make me believe they would also want learn, especially if they then say so, and lay down that useless, just encumbering ballast. The fact I face that words and deeds are two things is hard for me to take. Though with the respective background knowledge it is easy to analyse why, the wholistic approach I have facing the world in straight ways leads me into events in which I have to learn it the hard way, once more, once again. And still, I won't give up believing. Integrity is the key, and all I see is people flee. From re-sponse and re-sponsability, from others who challenge them to become more than they have been by now, and from their very own selves or souls.
When writing, for myself usually a chain of brain reactions is automatically induced and the thoughts keep on working by themselves. Such, again, the many tiny pieces of the big, big puzzle are trying to find their matches. Sometimes they do, and sometimes I simply need to lay them aside for the time being. As the subconscious brain is a miraculous, huge supercomputer, it is completely reliable to process the bits of information all along. We have the ability to remember every little information we ever have received as input in that big, big library there. Just when people abuse their brain, it gets holes, meta-phorically - and maybe literally. Nope, in this case 'holes' is not connected to 'holy' or 'whole'.
Both my children are still suffering from the effects of me having been a 'shifted sinistral', and the preconditions why that happened were my task to find out about. Only by them becoming shifted sinistrals, I found out that it had been me who was. The multifactoral chain reactions of one little action done in context with what happens next, affect generations after generations. So-called 'family curses' or even health inheritances, often messed up with 'inherited' genetically, are more often simply the psychological, mind and at a stage psychosomatic effects of what happens from one chain in the family line at one point having taken an undue decision, a thought, projection or action which infringes all around, especially the open ones and those unable to refuse, as children are, for instance.
Each time, it is us again to disentangle and find out what is ours to cure.
Just want to share a little outcome of this morning. My son, heavily pubiciting and due to other factors in a phase of severe crisis, is doubting that I love him. The trigger is mainly that I am demanding that there are some things he must be able to do and perform by now. I guess any parents know about this, in our case it is just a little heavier as there is additional loads and open questions, certainly for him.
We are having tough crashes, indeed. Maybe you are aware that the major problem for kids these days is that adults don't deal with the expressions of their behaviour which are always messages, and just 'let happen'. Such, the children have to go further and further and at a point definitely too far. And in principle it is total nonsense how our societies are formed and forming by prohibiting and preventing those struggles boys need to have to learn to be a man. As expressed earlier, it is to a high degree our misconception of what really forms a human, reflected also in the educational system, which unfortunately does not provide the chances that the 'young stags' can try out themselves in appropriate ways and find out what they really are. Also are there, as in my time regarding women, too few role models for boys they could turn to or from whom they could adopt essential parts. To be honest: I have not seen even one man who would be able to function as a model at all, much more have I seen what could be usable as 'counter-models' maybe.
Letting happen, giving in, looks so much more convenient but in fact it is
a) not facing the task as parent and
b) for sure not what kids need for growth.
When kids evolve their personalities, they ask for their borders absolutely and also for the expression of the borders of the other, and that's the only way they learn about these. They need conflict to learn, and that is why they ask for it. Going into conflict with someone also means that he or she exists (thanks to Samy Molcho this is something I had learned from one of his very early books).
Going or turning away in a conflict means to let him or her die. People who can't work out or deal with conflict in any ways probably have never learned how and why it is so essential to really get into and through with it. They go for seeking false identities instead, like running around and getting through with a falsified passport. They know it is not them and when a person comes who looks behind their true identity is revealed. Maybe that is why they so quickly have to attack then. It is funny because often their true identity would be beautiful while they have learned it is not, why ever, and learned to hide behind the fake.
Love sometimes and especially in tough times shows simply by facing the 'other', thus taking him or her serious, and also allowing one's own feelings and what is does with me. It is an investion in the process to learn to communicate. Where communication and expression out of itself are prohibited already for children or even cut off and shortened like a Bonsai tree, there is no growth but merely a creation of a replique en miniature. At least for my line I am very aware of the loads of the past, but get to face how immense these are when coming in from several lines and when continuously others try to unload their charge on others. What they have no right to do, actually.
My father by the way, literally turned to Bonsais as his hobby at a point in his life when we kids were out of the house. How much an expression of an inside world in the outside expression. He had been keeping on trying to cut arms and legs of his own children, too, throughout all his life - something I realized just very much later - and it was me who was the one to rebel and oppose at times when certainly more unconscious than that I would have known why.
Despite what I wrote above and stand in for, to turn towards people and not to let them die, there are also occasions when you simply have to turn away and leave. That was such a case. He would not have stopped his destructive games and when you realize someone will misinterpret patience, the fact that you don't turn away but due to purely loving and turning towards someone despite what he or she does or is hurtful to others on and on, then there is a point to accept the facts and quit the game.
Only when he died also physically and I visited his body run by machines, asking and praying to his soul to let my siblings go free, I realized that the soul that was standing besides the bed with the already dead man, was of the size of a maybe 6 years old. Very, very much later only and through lots of information input and processing in collaboration with the righthanded, analytic brain hemisphere, I more and more understood what I long time before had been sensing despite all that he tried to show: that in fact the socio-emotional growth of that man had stopped at that age, had let him dwell in narcisstic features and that is why he acted that way for the whole rest of his life.
By this effect, we permanently face humans running around in bodies of adult males and females which at the point where it comes to a possibly constructive argument, fall back into behaviours that suit a child of a certain age but not a grown. Exactly at that stage, if such is the goal, development has to be re-started, re-kicked-off. It's the affected persons themselves who need to come to the insight that it is them who need to do something about it. The higher they have come in hierarchies and the more 'successful' a behaviour has shown in the past, the less chance is given that they will. This is sensable and additionally relates to some newer outcome of how a brain can keep up neuroplasticity and readiness for solving problems - the major job it is designed respectively has developed for.
Humans tend to continue their dramas on and on if they don't get the turn to learn.
While the early childhood is of extreme relevance for the fundamental satisfaction of basic needs, how we deal with them and for the roots to grow, there are only very few more stages with huge portals open where we really and by deeply going into it, can reshuffle and redecide: One is pubicity, and another one is becoming parent ourselves. If we miss those chances for change, things really become harder. Up to undoable.
Growth is change. Change is chances.
That's all I would like to say for today.
It is always about puttings one's own house in order. And that is always personal.
And: It is a special day today.
Lyn
Seems it is a very special day today, again one of those mysterious inputs which is difficult to get into words and nevertheless is true. When an organism is connected and interwired in itself and with and from out of itself, it sometimes acts without that at first the conscious brain is aware or knows why. I have learned to cherish this gift very much and it was quite a way to disentangle the harnish also I was tried to be stuffed into, to the estate where in principle you are naked and just with a very soft skin which continuously senses, feels and receives information which is beyond the range of linearity.
As this day is special and I felt it coming, I lighted a candle last night, and again can not tell you why.
Only one thing is sure and has always proved itself through the events happening, sometimes much later: This intuition functions pretty well and is connected to much more than a just limited environment, as also the holder is connected to much more. This part has to do with opening up while at any time, this is a danger to be hit. I know well being a butterfly between tanks. It is a choice, of course, and often enough it's really quite tough. Maybe it is as my dear friend A. put it into picture: It is like living as a kind of lemur among a hord of baboons. Check out the behaviouristics of baboons and you will know what she and I are talking about. So may it be, I only hope the balance will be achieved soon. See, also me am looking foward to some thing happening. I just don't believe it is a spacecraft in the literal sense - maybe in the metaphorical sense, yes, it could be.
For the whole of my life and as I am no eremit but to the contrary, a very social being and communicator all along, I had to defend this against so clever and smart people who always 'knew better'. Time has shown that it usually was the other way around but they rid the conversation into arguments that could not be constructive anymore. At a point I needed to come to the conclusion that in the end, also communication is extremely limited if the people do not want to 'communicate' but merely argue and compete. I am not fond of having been 'right' or 'having known the outcome' which proves in the end and what I say I am speaking out as it just gets evident where some ways will lead to, and simply to take respective measures. Or a respective break to think over the respective measures in time and before things have to happen in ways that will harm one or the other, and would not need to take place. There are indeed some basic rules for this planet, similar to physical laws - that stuff the Egyptians used to call Ma-at.
A continuously learning being myself I also fall for the trap of projection, and in this I, same as anyone else, assume others to be such, too. Often I am very wrong in this regard. I know most people have given up long ago and keep on surviving somehow in that shell, that pod put on and hardened long time ago, which is hindering from growing, stretching, moving; still my projections make me believe they would also want learn, especially if they then say so, and lay down that useless, just encumbering ballast. The fact I face that words and deeds are two things is hard for me to take. Though with the respective background knowledge it is easy to analyse why, the wholistic approach I have facing the world in straight ways leads me into events in which I have to learn it the hard way, once more, once again. And still, I won't give up believing. Integrity is the key, and all I see is people flee. From re-sponse and re-sponsability, from others who challenge them to become more than they have been by now, and from their very own selves or souls.
When writing, for myself usually a chain of brain reactions is automatically induced and the thoughts keep on working by themselves. Such, again, the many tiny pieces of the big, big puzzle are trying to find their matches. Sometimes they do, and sometimes I simply need to lay them aside for the time being. As the subconscious brain is a miraculous, huge supercomputer, it is completely reliable to process the bits of information all along. We have the ability to remember every little information we ever have received as input in that big, big library there. Just when people abuse their brain, it gets holes, meta-phorically - and maybe literally. Nope, in this case 'holes' is not connected to 'holy' or 'whole'.
Both my children are still suffering from the effects of me having been a 'shifted sinistral', and the preconditions why that happened were my task to find out about. Only by them becoming shifted sinistrals, I found out that it had been me who was. The multifactoral chain reactions of one little action done in context with what happens next, affect generations after generations. So-called 'family curses' or even health inheritances, often messed up with 'inherited' genetically, are more often simply the psychological, mind and at a stage psychosomatic effects of what happens from one chain in the family line at one point having taken an undue decision, a thought, projection or action which infringes all around, especially the open ones and those unable to refuse, as children are, for instance.
Each time, it is us again to disentangle and find out what is ours to cure.
Just want to share a little outcome of this morning. My son, heavily pubiciting and due to other factors in a phase of severe crisis, is doubting that I love him. The trigger is mainly that I am demanding that there are some things he must be able to do and perform by now. I guess any parents know about this, in our case it is just a little heavier as there is additional loads and open questions, certainly for him.
We are having tough crashes, indeed. Maybe you are aware that the major problem for kids these days is that adults don't deal with the expressions of their behaviour which are always messages, and just 'let happen'. Such, the children have to go further and further and at a point definitely too far. And in principle it is total nonsense how our societies are formed and forming by prohibiting and preventing those struggles boys need to have to learn to be a man. As expressed earlier, it is to a high degree our misconception of what really forms a human, reflected also in the educational system, which unfortunately does not provide the chances that the 'young stags' can try out themselves in appropriate ways and find out what they really are. Also are there, as in my time regarding women, too few role models for boys they could turn to or from whom they could adopt essential parts. To be honest: I have not seen even one man who would be able to function as a model at all, much more have I seen what could be usable as 'counter-models' maybe.
Letting happen, giving in, looks so much more convenient but in fact it is
a) not facing the task as parent and
b) for sure not what kids need for growth.
When kids evolve their personalities, they ask for their borders absolutely and also for the expression of the borders of the other, and that's the only way they learn about these. They need conflict to learn, and that is why they ask for it. Going into conflict with someone also means that he or she exists (thanks to Samy Molcho this is something I had learned from one of his very early books).
Going or turning away in a conflict means to let him or her die. People who can't work out or deal with conflict in any ways probably have never learned how and why it is so essential to really get into and through with it. They go for seeking false identities instead, like running around and getting through with a falsified passport. They know it is not them and when a person comes who looks behind their true identity is revealed. Maybe that is why they so quickly have to attack then. It is funny because often their true identity would be beautiful while they have learned it is not, why ever, and learned to hide behind the fake.
Love sometimes and especially in tough times shows simply by facing the 'other', thus taking him or her serious, and also allowing one's own feelings and what is does with me. It is an investion in the process to learn to communicate. Where communication and expression out of itself are prohibited already for children or even cut off and shortened like a Bonsai tree, there is no growth but merely a creation of a replique en miniature. At least for my line I am very aware of the loads of the past, but get to face how immense these are when coming in from several lines and when continuously others try to unload their charge on others. What they have no right to do, actually.
 |
| Bonsai Oak found on Bonsai Empire: 'literally translated, means “planted in a container”.' |
Despite what I wrote above and stand in for, to turn towards people and not to let them die, there are also occasions when you simply have to turn away and leave. That was such a case. He would not have stopped his destructive games and when you realize someone will misinterpret patience, the fact that you don't turn away but due to purely loving and turning towards someone despite what he or she does or is hurtful to others on and on, then there is a point to accept the facts and quit the game.
Only when he died also physically and I visited his body run by machines, asking and praying to his soul to let my siblings go free, I realized that the soul that was standing besides the bed with the already dead man, was of the size of a maybe 6 years old. Very, very much later only and through lots of information input and processing in collaboration with the righthanded, analytic brain hemisphere, I more and more understood what I long time before had been sensing despite all that he tried to show: that in fact the socio-emotional growth of that man had stopped at that age, had let him dwell in narcisstic features and that is why he acted that way for the whole rest of his life.
By this effect, we permanently face humans running around in bodies of adult males and females which at the point where it comes to a possibly constructive argument, fall back into behaviours that suit a child of a certain age but not a grown. Exactly at that stage, if such is the goal, development has to be re-started, re-kicked-off. It's the affected persons themselves who need to come to the insight that it is them who need to do something about it. The higher they have come in hierarchies and the more 'successful' a behaviour has shown in the past, the less chance is given that they will. This is sensable and additionally relates to some newer outcome of how a brain can keep up neuroplasticity and readiness for solving problems - the major job it is designed respectively has developed for.
Humans tend to continue their dramas on and on if they don't get the turn to learn.
While the early childhood is of extreme relevance for the fundamental satisfaction of basic needs, how we deal with them and for the roots to grow, there are only very few more stages with huge portals open where we really and by deeply going into it, can reshuffle and redecide: One is pubicity, and another one is becoming parent ourselves. If we miss those chances for change, things really become harder. Up to undoable.
Growth is change. Change is chances.
 |
| Photo by isnogud_CT found on flickr with many thanks - much more cannot be said about a real tree in real soil. |
That's all I would like to say for today.
It is always about puttings one's own house in order. And that is always personal.
And: It is a special day today.
Lyn
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