Why writing at all?
Well, one reason is simply to share. Share experiences, share insights, make information available, too. The world is as connected as never before, but individuals are also as separated as also never before which is not visible at first sight (though sociologists write a lot about the recent tendencies of forming separated groups and so on. We experience a class, national and social parallel and micro systems backlash at its best).
As a wanderer between the worlds in all regards, I was in a lucky position to quite early realize how small, how limited views can be if people stay within limited boundaries of thinking. While the world is so wide open today, as wide open as it has never been at any point or moment in time before, people limitize themselves, The more they are limited, the less they can deal with the growth of information and options around.
Wandering, I found and find many information that made me open my view, each time and ongoingly, deeper and wider. Who never wanders maybe never wonders.
It is such a pity. With hindsight I realize that the changes I underwent already at early stages and especially around very important, sensitive phases in development, had never let me trail off my kind of childish curiosity about what's next, what's behind, a drive to find out how all that is functioning and why.
I had kept my senses with me all the time but most often could not name what I sensed and saw. I just noted that what people say and what they do is so far away one from the other, and that what has happened and what was reported are indeed two pairs of shoes. The discrepance even goes that far that people claim violence to be love and caretaking. And be careful: violence has many forms and is not only what we point out as violence every day and what is reported in the news at a point where it escalates.
The amount of violence in our so-called civilized societies is still the same as in any country that acts it out. We don't have to point with fingers at any other country - we do it happily ourselves. Here, I realized, it is just happening in other ways, hidden, psychologically or in other ways swept under the carpet so that no one may see (see also, if you like so, 'Thou Shalt Not Be Aware', a gorgeous hint by the psychologist Alice Miller).
Also with hindsight I found that maybe people simply don't know it any better: they might also just have learned it that way and were themselves told that is what love is. A child's brain can not find out what love is if it has not learned any other. The discrepance between what is said, what appeals to the conscious brain, to what it feels, so what is received by the senses, breaks the child already. To be split is what they have learned and never dared to scrutinize or analyze.
They literally stick to what made and makes them sick.
And drag it on into next generations.
Into their next environments.
Their next relations.
A funny phenomenon: The sicker the re-lation, the more the sickness is denied. As a fact: when you talk to people who already are able to speak about their early youth or about traumatic experience, you already deal with people much further in the process than those who constantly confirm that everything was fine.
Working myself through my own past and questions arising naturally at consciousness forming and transforming stages when you develop identity, that from a very early stage we as humans also get limited by being pressed into schemes, IDs and personalities and on pathes that never were ours and that we are not and were never born to be.
Children are like sponges with highest capacities of adapting to any kind of environment. Thrown into a certain surrounding, they quickly learn to function - exactly there and with the conditions in that environment and following the role models they meet. They want to please their environment, naturally.
More profanely expressed, they simply have no other environment than the one they have, and they try to survive in the world they are born into. They must accept and literally swallow what they are fed with, they have not a choice unless they, again literally, want to starve. Once manifested, it gets difficult to get rid of those programmed dogmata and patterns, unless you keep an open mind all the time - and keep on asking and do not consider the things just as given that way.
We all are made with full capabilities, with neurobiological abundance in fact, and then get seriously reduced. We become in a sense crippled from being born as fully able beings into severely disabled ones. This disability seems to be enough and to function, in the environment we were born into and as long as that one is not changing. But it reduces also the capability to expand and grow, seriously. To grow inside ourselves.
I doubt that that was the plan.
So what to do? Rebel?
At first, the step to realize is to get to know what we don't like or want.
This is a stage that is ultimatively necessary. Having been so tied down, so reduced, we first have to realize what is that what we certainly do not want. The point is that this is a necessary first stage, and only step 1.
We shouldn't stay in this phase forever but it is good to do that thoroughly and with all that we are: emotionally, intellectually, spiritually if you want so, and physically.
Step 2 is to find what it could be we want. This one is much more difficult because so few examples exist how the world could be. The way out is - dreaming. Phantasy. Detect that we have spirit - and that we have soul and that that soul, our self, has quite an idea about how life could be.
The aboriginals are telling their (hi)story that the land was made by their ancestors by dreaming it. It has shown that whatever mankind can dream, also can realize. In the good - and the bad. Our thoughts create, indeed. It is visions we have we can realize - if we want so.
So we have to examine and explore our own thoughts and feelings, don't we?
Feelings are so important because they are the thoughts of the physical level.
If we ignore them, we may build nice castles in the air. Just never anything real.
The emotional body, so other teachings say, is the connective tissue with the spiritual levels. With what kind of spirit will anyone connect who has no access to his/her very own feelings and does not know what is his (or hers) and other people's stuff?
So we also need to puzzle our feelings apart. Find out what were and are ours, our very own feelings, and what not. Puzzle it together again, and be able to always and each moment examine if it was not so that a piece of the puzzle might still be placed errouneously.
Nowadays and in our Western societies, children who dream and speak out their dreams (or what they see) at first get ridiculized, at a later stage and if they persist, get diagnosed and stigmatized. All the others are already well functioning 'helpers' - themselves wanting to 'belong' and 'make it', they support the pressure on those who remain with what they see and for some time refuse to get reduced to see what all the others have agreed on to see.
In important brain re-organisation phases like the ages from 5 to 7 and 12 to 15 years which function naturally as initiations and for wiring ourselves anew and our bodies with our brains, phases in which our identities are created and transformed, are pressed into scholar and other systems where children have to function and deliver expected results. That's one part.
The other part is expectations, wishes, fears and functions by the personal environment and 'family' which are never spoken out (and maybe even not consciously realized). Those are in fact very strong. Extremely strong, as that is what the child identifies first and strongest with just due to the need to survive.
We need to become aware and simply accept the fact that such happens because if we don't, we will always function by invisible commands we have no access to or control over as we don't dare to look at them. So deep is that fear in a child that it persists in the adults, most often until the end of their days.
Wonder why so many people such can not develop their real, inborn and own identities? Those who deliver what is expected (by others) will 'make it' in our systems and get rewarded for neclecting the necessity of maturing, rewiring and growing his or her real self. By outward reward, the Ego is nurtured, blown up overdimensionally and such it pushes aside the real self, so that the self has no chance find itself in itself, not to talk about maturing, growing or evolving. Our systems do not promote 'the best' - our systems promote those the most who have gaps in their personalities due to missing personal evolution in time and who are easily usable as objects and instruments to serve the 'system' going on.
But it all starts much earlier and with the dogmata we get stuffed with about family and in and from our families.
The first thing kids are made to lose are their senses.
Children principally are equipped with high-resolution instruments to check out all what's around. Step by step, they lose those senses when they 'settle' in this world. At the same time, they are equipped with a wholly functioning brain. Well, mostly, already the quality of the preconditions steer a lot from even before fetal development on. This includes feelings and the 'fluids' of the environment and the parents, and even the circumstances they are made by and under - feelings cause the chemical cocktail that flushes through an organism in the form of transmitters and hormons, and which co-influences any fetal brain development. Already the chemical cocktail but also the other received information in the mother's womb pre-sets how the neuronal and other developments take place. Get deeper, you must deal with the reality that we are settled inside and outside with millions if not billions of bacteria who have recently been found out to additionally effect mental and psychological states.
I should maybe mention that from the point of view of an existing mental world, also all thoughts and emotions which do not directly influence biology or chemistry play a role ... as 'information' which is 'readable' by sensitive beings but not measurable with any technological diagnostics. So it will not be recognized even if it exists. Also the faintest electrical currents, as running through neuronal systems, have certainly effects. But it is up to anyone oneself to take such into account. Already to consider the lots of other, proven factors as a complex is far beyond the complexity people are usually used to deal with.
Next co-factor is a suppression of healthy development, may it be that there is simply lack of what is needed, emotionally, nutrition-related in all regards. Nutrition (or lack of such) influences the chemical cocktail (and therwith neuronal development) as well as does emotion and itat the same time, it influences emotion. In principle, human children are highly emotional. Quickly they learn to suppress those emotions but also to use the expression of certain emotions for getting what they want. Unexpected influence from the environment may happen which cause irritations, up to what is for children traumatic. We sometimes can't help that shit just happens. Unfortunately, there is no good culture in dealing with those traumata. Our parents have not learned such and can't help us with good advice, too. And additionally, societies have invented their very own styles of crippling their own children, culturally sanctified and supported, by in fact causing traumata which are then 'sold' as initiations into a group and even if only by religious tradition which people often consider as 'harmless'.
A trauma means a hurt, a break which causes a leakage, a wound to the soul, anything that endangers the child from it's perspective and that it can not deal with - and no one helps.
Outside, you may not see anything but the soul has to learn to suppress these wounds if the individual wants to belong. We all, as children, are depending on belonging to. Even as adults we often face situations where we need our society, our 'clan'.
So which choice do we have? The scars seem to heal, we forget. But inside, the wound remains, most often uncleaned, and each scar is a location on our skin which is much thicker than the original, sensitive one.
Do children have a choice to remain whole at all if they at the same time depend on the environment they are born into?
Broken people that have learned to function and perform and to deliver to their group or to their 'caretakers' are considered more useful to the functioning of the group - or the 'caretaker'.
Broken people create new broken people.
They cycle goes on and on.
Until one link in the chain starts - to rebel.
Simply starts to say: no.
Not with me.
Not that way.
So why write about this? No one wants to hear or read that. It does all function well, doesn't it?
People must be blind to imagine that what we have built up here does function. Actually, nothing functions at all, and we as species are steering into a perfectly home-made dilemma. Literally home-made. And it's the 'homes' we may start with to clean up.
But what is indeed the loss of a few illusions? If we compare it to the gain of retrieving and re-integrating at least some pieces of our self - the ones we are inside and were meant to be?
Why the hel am I putting myself into that role of hinting at issues that are not as they look to the outside and getting stigmatized, bullied and scapegoated for that?
Why going on exploring more and deeper and broader why all those things are happening?
Why bothering about other people at all - I could use my energy much better caring for my personal material forthcoming and just have an easy life with lots of amenities if I just would be more 'diplomatic', more 'clever', more 'smart' or more 'streetwise'?
Just out of curiosity, I recently looked up what's going on today with one of the trainers with whose teachings I was in touch at again quite another early stage in my life, my early twenties.
In some sense I am blessed to have received so much diverse input and have been lucky to be at a certain place at a certain time. Maybe it was my hunger for information and insight that guided me. As others are guided by their hunger for other things. What we 'are hungry for' that guides us. This is how our animals in us work for us. Be friends.
One of the most relevant lessons I took with me from this motivation, success and management trainer (well, that was the 90s), was about 'how do you expect a machine to work if you fuel it with low quality gasoline and oil', and the other one was a metapher about a monkey who will always climb up that palm tree where his 'treasure' is, that what is most important to him.
That trainer was himself in turn early with this kind of trainings, and again, right in time. Isn't it funny that I found that he also gave up the motivation trainings at a point? He realized that people move strongly forward when highly motivated, but 95% of them lose this drive and fall back to their old normality at the moment they are not motivated anymore from 'outside'.
If of 100% of the people who started dealing with such issues as finding a personally successful life, 95% don't pursue their goal just after they lose the input from an outer source, what could this mean?
In a wider sense, it's about energy/power/fuel and about activating the own sources in oneself - or not. When we decide for change and create or move into a motivating environment, we will move on and keep on. If we remain in environments that want to have us exactly where we are - it gets difficult. Real self-motivation seems to be rare. Either we detect our inner drives, and that will drive us further, or we just fall back to what always was.
In another sense the conclusion could be that they need to cover their energy needs from others. They use resources, and consume without replacing or growing anything. And so it looks in the material, our outside world, our planet, as well as on the psychological, the mental and emotional level.
But now, who would allow to take away their energies for the purpose to be consumed by others?
I think there are two main groups who will - or will have to.
Well, in principle it's easy. I have got eyes to see. I refused to blur my senses. And I get involved into those games over and over myself as long as people can not lay them down.
While I see those mechanisms working in private relations, and am often enough naive enough to find myself cought in such struggle without having wished or wanted to be there. You only know when you are in. From the outside and with the masquerades people have gotten so used to, it is difficult to know beforehand - and also would you give a reasonable chance without prejudging someone. Even when the signs become more visible and accumulate, those who are used to play another role to the outside than what they have inside will go on denying that what you see is real. That is why the development of and living the real self is so much of importance to me: If it would only be the individual's problem and he/she wouldn't bother anyone, it would be fine. As it is inevitable that humans interact, also the underdevelopment of real selves remains a problem for everyone, not only for the ones directly affected. Such naturally affects also any clown.
As earlier once mentioned, I realize that already the ways men and women meet and live together, sorry to pull this rotten tooth, has most often enough nothing to do with 'love' (though one would assume as 'love' and 'life' are already as words so close together) but are nothing than an ongoing war. An open war sometimes, but most likely, as we call ourselves 'civilized', a cold war.
This is the precondition most of all children these days are born into and grow up in. If parents are aware, they will realize at the very moment a child is born that this is the moment to change. Change life completely, as in the eyes of the new child which have not seen our mistakes we made before, we have the chance to make everything, really really everything, anew.
Most parents don't. Most parents rigidly fall back to exactly what they experienced when having been born and having been children themselves. Additionally, males and females get into severe struggles about roles, powers, positions and such.
Subliminally but effective, what is the biggest chance is the most heavy drawback, too.
It could be overcome by - love. Real love, not attachment, dependency relations and such.
But as described some posts before, most likely the male and female already didn't come together because of love ... so how now create something the preconditions have not existed at all for, create out of the blue for what no fundament was ever layed?
The open war is, though not funny at all, maybe even easier to deal with, especially for children, as what happens is openly visible. The cold war is tricky and mean and the open, perceiving sponge-like minds of children are told that things are not the way they in fact see them. Such 'lies' are deeply disturbing and often cause the souls to flee.
Such, the cold war in a sense causes a more effective damage than the open war. In an open war you can fight or if not, hopefully flee at a point (which is difficult enough also in Western societies, and the support to do so gets massively reduced step by step. See what I mean with backlash?).
A cold war will only end when one of the contrahents breaks up, literally, psychologically, psychosomatically, or if he/she breaks out into an open war (which is often unlikely - the weapons had been chosen long time ago). Who wants to live and bear something like permanent shielding and sleeping with weapons under the pillow in private life? In fact, people do continuously. The get so used to that shooting at the other and getting wounded oneself is normal in relation that this becomes the only state they know.
Most funny of all, they call this cold war due to relational dependencies and subliminal fights for resources and control: 'merry-age' - marriage.
Slowly get it why children can't sort the world around them when they are told things the other ways around than what is - and what is sensible and even visible?
Even relations that don't go for the traditional 'merry-age' can't help from mainly functioning for very simple, often material reasons (the ego, financial reasons, tax systems' incentives and socio-cultural environments push them into): building up something, making it in society, owning something ('you are what you have and can show off'), getting into a good position professionally and crowning all that with the standard traditional 'visible evidence' that they also mate - children, as a proof of fertility and that everything is fine with them and they are fully functioning. Apart from those who simply do it as they do on the discovery channel and obey at the same time Vaticanian rules.
[Here I must insert an information puzzle piece I recently found in a documentary about a Japanese young man who is sent by his father to Tokio to become a Sumo wrestler ("and don't dare to come back home without successful results" - actually, the boy after that also didn't go home anymore but decided to live with a friend). The 'students' get lessons about decreasing fertility rates (1.3 kpc - kids per couple) and the advice to soon marry and make children, to make flourish the society. Well, reminded me of some faschistic stuff that was heard in these areas here around seventy years ago, or so. Wherever you look deeper it gets more shocking, these days. No wonder everyone prefers to close their eyes.]
But back to children here: These then in turn, and by birth already pre-defined to function as instruments to keep illusions working, take over the role of glue (and oven enough also fill in where they see other needs and gaps in their parents) to not allow any of the involved members of that game to wake up, unless those want to break all 'civilizational' rules.
Few do - and get stalked, hunted down, at least socially stigmatized. The system works to sustain the system. If you are not lucky to be born into an open-minded family that supports the development of free will and free individualization by offering supportive leadership, it gets hard to do any other than the environment expects you to.
People use other people in their environment, and apart from their 'partners' also their own offspring, as objects and as instruments - and consider and label it 'love'.
In turn, children learn such patterns as 'functional programmes' and apply them, too.
No wonder that relational matters such ways completely confuse.
It all starts in the closest relation - the parental family, and continues into the next ... and the next .... and the next ...... .
Most likely, the actors don't realize, they are already actors in the show and learned their 'scripts' well. They have since birth (and even before with their 'planning') been part of it.
The defects underneath no one sees or even wants to see. The involved can't/don't see it themselves. Because then they would have to face the consequences of what they see, and that could mean to turn around and change. Change something in their system, or change themselves. It is so convenient ... who wants to lose amenities and face majority's cemented beliefs just to readjust one's own little life? They better sacrifice the (probably) only life they are given and submit it to the environment and constraints created by others and which, out of the sudden, they are part of. Members of a system sustain the system.
And there are so many dogmata which support this belief that I even couldn't count them. Interest groups including religious groups - have clearly no interest in humans to out of the sudden 'understand' that 'something is rotten in the state'(s). (Please understand the term 'state/states' as multilateral as it is.)
I am not the first and not the last to point this out, and there is plenty of good literature existing to get an input or a kick-off for the process of understanding what's going on - and the rest you got to, as usual, track and process yourself. It should interest everyone. It is every one's lives that diverge so much from what they could be to what they in fact are.
Wonder why my view of the world and the people within sometimes sounds 'negative'?
The answer is easy and simple mathematics: it's only the difference between what is idolized and what in reality is ... and that is a negative sum. It will be neutral as soon as people act as what they in reality are, or even positive if they come up with positive surprises.
Have given up dreaming? There's still the option to start dreaming now, and don't steal or break down other people's dreams.
It is so evident in these our societies, and still, people get very agitated when somewhere and somewhen, one or several members of the system break down completely and act out the symptoms clearly, while the whole time it is that false and hypocritic systems and dogmata which cause the members - all people - to break. It is not the individuals that at a point break down who are psychotic - it is the environment, the social/environmental/cultural systems by the sanction of tradition, conservatism and disinterest which is psychotic as a whole.
Of course, there is also a certain amount of people who are psychotic due to other, sometimes endogenic, reasons ... but seen as a whole, it is mainly as described. I once read a funny statement by a psychologist - or was it a sociopsychologist? Forgot. He stated that societies are able to tolerate a certain amount of psychotics and there must be a darwinistic reason why nature brings forth psychotics, too. I am totally contrary to that statement. No society can in principle carry psychotics: As the psychotics flourish, and they do that well and always on the cost of others as they lack own creation energy, real inner values and social skills, they will have broken and torn down at least 5-10 others directly for the sake of their psychoses, and the domino and multiplication effect might even be much, much worse. Not to talk about the generational effect. As those psychos are real reptilish and most often intelligent enough predators, it is rare that anyone faces them (they know to whom to show which face, of course, and how to bundle energies and bind in others into their plans when their asses are endangered - as said, they are intelligent enough) and gets them down to earth.
The few humans who see and try to resist it are being made sick by what they perceive and suffer from the symptoms - but even if they are messengers, they are not the cause. In a world that is so inconsistent and where right is declared to be wrong and the other way around, it is clear that any healthy perception must suffer or even give up at a point.
It is a contradiction in itself and most difficult and complex undertaking to at the same time see and resist.
For the first, walls must be down - and for the latter, they should be erect to protect.
Can you imagine how difficult that gets?
Traumata of our own childhood can not be undone. But we can avoid doing what did hurt us, to others. For that, we need to become aware of our own hurts, wounds and scars, of our vulnerability. Without ignorance, arrogance and other defense mechanisms so many have learned and built up just to deal with what for themselves was in principle unbearable.
So, why write?
(Next try)
Well, one reason is simply to share. Share experiences, share insights, make information available, too. The world is as connected as never before, but individuals are also as separated as also never before which is not visible at first sight (though sociologists write a lot about the recent tendencies of forming separated groups and so on. We experience a class, national and social parallel and micro systems backlash at its best).
As a wanderer between the worlds in all regards, I was in a lucky position to quite early realize how small, how limited views can be if people stay within limited boundaries of thinking. While the world is so wide open today, as wide open as it has never been at any point or moment in time before, people limitize themselves, The more they are limited, the less they can deal with the growth of information and options around.
Wandering, I found and find many information that made me open my view, each time and ongoingly, deeper and wider. Who never wanders maybe never wonders.
It is such a pity. With hindsight I realize that the changes I underwent already at early stages and especially around very important, sensitive phases in development, had never let me trail off my kind of childish curiosity about what's next, what's behind, a drive to find out how all that is functioning and why.
I had kept my senses with me all the time but most often could not name what I sensed and saw. I just noted that what people say and what they do is so far away one from the other, and that what has happened and what was reported are indeed two pairs of shoes. The discrepance even goes that far that people claim violence to be love and caretaking. And be careful: violence has many forms and is not only what we point out as violence every day and what is reported in the news at a point where it escalates.
The amount of violence in our so-called civilized societies is still the same as in any country that acts it out. We don't have to point with fingers at any other country - we do it happily ourselves. Here, I realized, it is just happening in other ways, hidden, psychologically or in other ways swept under the carpet so that no one may see (see also, if you like so, 'Thou Shalt Not Be Aware', a gorgeous hint by the psychologist Alice Miller).
Also with hindsight I found that maybe people simply don't know it any better: they might also just have learned it that way and were themselves told that is what love is. A child's brain can not find out what love is if it has not learned any other. The discrepance between what is said, what appeals to the conscious brain, to what it feels, so what is received by the senses, breaks the child already. To be split is what they have learned and never dared to scrutinize or analyze.
They literally stick to what made and makes them sick.
And drag it on into next generations.
Into their next environments.
Their next relations.
A funny phenomenon: The sicker the re-lation, the more the sickness is denied. As a fact: when you talk to people who already are able to speak about their early youth or about traumatic experience, you already deal with people much further in the process than those who constantly confirm that everything was fine.
Working myself through my own past and questions arising naturally at consciousness forming and transforming stages when you develop identity, that from a very early stage we as humans also get limited by being pressed into schemes, IDs and personalities and on pathes that never were ours and that we are not and were never born to be.
Children are like sponges with highest capacities of adapting to any kind of environment. Thrown into a certain surrounding, they quickly learn to function - exactly there and with the conditions in that environment and following the role models they meet. They want to please their environment, naturally.
More profanely expressed, they simply have no other environment than the one they have, and they try to survive in the world they are born into. They must accept and literally swallow what they are fed with, they have not a choice unless they, again literally, want to starve. Once manifested, it gets difficult to get rid of those programmed dogmata and patterns, unless you keep an open mind all the time - and keep on asking and do not consider the things just as given that way.
We all are made with full capabilities, with neurobiological abundance in fact, and then get seriously reduced. We become in a sense crippled from being born as fully able beings into severely disabled ones. This disability seems to be enough and to function, in the environment we were born into and as long as that one is not changing. But it reduces also the capability to expand and grow, seriously. To grow inside ourselves.
I doubt that that was the plan.
So what to do? Rebel?
At first, the step to realize is to get to know what we don't like or want.
This is a stage that is ultimatively necessary. Having been so tied down, so reduced, we first have to realize what is that what we certainly do not want. The point is that this is a necessary first stage, and only step 1.
We shouldn't stay in this phase forever but it is good to do that thoroughly and with all that we are: emotionally, intellectually, spiritually if you want so, and physically.
Step 2 is to find what it could be we want. This one is much more difficult because so few examples exist how the world could be. The way out is - dreaming. Phantasy. Detect that we have spirit - and that we have soul and that that soul, our self, has quite an idea about how life could be.
The aboriginals are telling their (hi)story that the land was made by their ancestors by dreaming it. It has shown that whatever mankind can dream, also can realize. In the good - and the bad. Our thoughts create, indeed. It is visions we have we can realize - if we want so.
 |
| Aboriginal bark painting. Pixel by pixel, as children see the world - before we learn to reduce to known patterns to the max. |
Feelings are so important because they are the thoughts of the physical level.
If we ignore them, we may build nice castles in the air. Just never anything real.
The emotional body, so other teachings say, is the connective tissue with the spiritual levels. With what kind of spirit will anyone connect who has no access to his/her very own feelings and does not know what is his (or hers) and other people's stuff?
So we also need to puzzle our feelings apart. Find out what were and are ours, our very own feelings, and what not. Puzzle it together again, and be able to always and each moment examine if it was not so that a piece of the puzzle might still be placed errouneously.
Nowadays and in our Western societies, children who dream and speak out their dreams (or what they see) at first get ridiculized, at a later stage and if they persist, get diagnosed and stigmatized. All the others are already well functioning 'helpers' - themselves wanting to 'belong' and 'make it', they support the pressure on those who remain with what they see and for some time refuse to get reduced to see what all the others have agreed on to see.
In important brain re-organisation phases like the ages from 5 to 7 and 12 to 15 years which function naturally as initiations and for wiring ourselves anew and our bodies with our brains, phases in which our identities are created and transformed, are pressed into scholar and other systems where children have to function and deliver expected results. That's one part.
The other part is expectations, wishes, fears and functions by the personal environment and 'family' which are never spoken out (and maybe even not consciously realized). Those are in fact very strong. Extremely strong, as that is what the child identifies first and strongest with just due to the need to survive.
We need to become aware and simply accept the fact that such happens because if we don't, we will always function by invisible commands we have no access to or control over as we don't dare to look at them. So deep is that fear in a child that it persists in the adults, most often until the end of their days.
Wonder why so many people such can not develop their real, inborn and own identities? Those who deliver what is expected (by others) will 'make it' in our systems and get rewarded for neclecting the necessity of maturing, rewiring and growing his or her real self. By outward reward, the Ego is nurtured, blown up overdimensionally and such it pushes aside the real self, so that the self has no chance find itself in itself, not to talk about maturing, growing or evolving. Our systems do not promote 'the best' - our systems promote those the most who have gaps in their personalities due to missing personal evolution in time and who are easily usable as objects and instruments to serve the 'system' going on.
But it all starts much earlier and with the dogmata we get stuffed with about family and in and from our families.
The first thing kids are made to lose are their senses.
Children principally are equipped with high-resolution instruments to check out all what's around. Step by step, they lose those senses when they 'settle' in this world. At the same time, they are equipped with a wholly functioning brain. Well, mostly, already the quality of the preconditions steer a lot from even before fetal development on. This includes feelings and the 'fluids' of the environment and the parents, and even the circumstances they are made by and under - feelings cause the chemical cocktail that flushes through an organism in the form of transmitters and hormons, and which co-influences any fetal brain development. Already the chemical cocktail but also the other received information in the mother's womb pre-sets how the neuronal and other developments take place. Get deeper, you must deal with the reality that we are settled inside and outside with millions if not billions of bacteria who have recently been found out to additionally effect mental and psychological states.
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| Tibetian monks creating a sand mandala. What later looks as one picture is in fact an arrangement of many, many grains of sand, different in colour and layer |
Next co-factor is a suppression of healthy development, may it be that there is simply lack of what is needed, emotionally, nutrition-related in all regards. Nutrition (or lack of such) influences the chemical cocktail (and therwith neuronal development) as well as does emotion and itat the same time, it influences emotion. In principle, human children are highly emotional. Quickly they learn to suppress those emotions but also to use the expression of certain emotions for getting what they want. Unexpected influence from the environment may happen which cause irritations, up to what is for children traumatic. We sometimes can't help that shit just happens. Unfortunately, there is no good culture in dealing with those traumata. Our parents have not learned such and can't help us with good advice, too. And additionally, societies have invented their very own styles of crippling their own children, culturally sanctified and supported, by in fact causing traumata which are then 'sold' as initiations into a group and even if only by religious tradition which people often consider as 'harmless'.
A trauma means a hurt, a break which causes a leakage, a wound to the soul, anything that endangers the child from it's perspective and that it can not deal with - and no one helps.
Outside, you may not see anything but the soul has to learn to suppress these wounds if the individual wants to belong. We all, as children, are depending on belonging to. Even as adults we often face situations where we need our society, our 'clan'.
So which choice do we have? The scars seem to heal, we forget. But inside, the wound remains, most often uncleaned, and each scar is a location on our skin which is much thicker than the original, sensitive one.
Do children have a choice to remain whole at all if they at the same time depend on the environment they are born into?
Broken people that have learned to function and perform and to deliver to their group or to their 'caretakers' are considered more useful to the functioning of the group - or the 'caretaker'.
Broken people create new broken people.
They cycle goes on and on.
Until one link in the chain starts - to rebel.
Simply starts to say: no.
Not with me.
Not that way.
So why write about this? No one wants to hear or read that. It does all function well, doesn't it?
People must be blind to imagine that what we have built up here does function. Actually, nothing functions at all, and we as species are steering into a perfectly home-made dilemma. Literally home-made. And it's the 'homes' we may start with to clean up.
But what is indeed the loss of a few illusions? If we compare it to the gain of retrieving and re-integrating at least some pieces of our self - the ones we are inside and were meant to be?
Why the hel am I putting myself into that role of hinting at issues that are not as they look to the outside and getting stigmatized, bullied and scapegoated for that?
Why going on exploring more and deeper and broader why all those things are happening?
Why bothering about other people at all - I could use my energy much better caring for my personal material forthcoming and just have an easy life with lots of amenities if I just would be more 'diplomatic', more 'clever', more 'smart' or more 'streetwise'?
Just out of curiosity, I recently looked up what's going on today with one of the trainers with whose teachings I was in touch at again quite another early stage in my life, my early twenties.
In some sense I am blessed to have received so much diverse input and have been lucky to be at a certain place at a certain time. Maybe it was my hunger for information and insight that guided me. As others are guided by their hunger for other things. What we 'are hungry for' that guides us. This is how our animals in us work for us. Be friends.
One of the most relevant lessons I took with me from this motivation, success and management trainer (well, that was the 90s), was about 'how do you expect a machine to work if you fuel it with low quality gasoline and oil', and the other one was a metapher about a monkey who will always climb up that palm tree where his 'treasure' is, that what is most important to him.
That trainer was himself in turn early with this kind of trainings, and again, right in time. Isn't it funny that I found that he also gave up the motivation trainings at a point? He realized that people move strongly forward when highly motivated, but 95% of them lose this drive and fall back to their old normality at the moment they are not motivated anymore from 'outside'.
If of 100% of the people who started dealing with such issues as finding a personally successful life, 95% don't pursue their goal just after they lose the input from an outer source, what could this mean?
In a wider sense, it's about energy/power/fuel and about activating the own sources in oneself - or not. When we decide for change and create or move into a motivating environment, we will move on and keep on. If we remain in environments that want to have us exactly where we are - it gets difficult. Real self-motivation seems to be rare. Either we detect our inner drives, and that will drive us further, or we just fall back to what always was.
In another sense the conclusion could be that they need to cover their energy needs from others. They use resources, and consume without replacing or growing anything. And so it looks in the material, our outside world, our planet, as well as on the psychological, the mental and emotional level.
But now, who would allow to take away their energies for the purpose to be consumed by others?
I think there are two main groups who will - or will have to.
- There are those who freely give because they believe in an ideal of a generous flow which functions like sharing by giving and taking as much as someone momentarily needs so that in the end, every member of the 'organism' or community will have exactly what is needed and right in time it is needed
- There are those who are under control and/or in dependency relations and have no chance to say 'no' even if they get severely needy themselves and cannot fill themselves who then in turn need to fill up themselves from other sources - mainly again from others whom they move and push into a dependency relation or get under control.
Well, in principle it's easy. I have got eyes to see. I refused to blur my senses. And I get involved into those games over and over myself as long as people can not lay them down.
While I see those mechanisms working in private relations, and am often enough naive enough to find myself cought in such struggle without having wished or wanted to be there. You only know when you are in. From the outside and with the masquerades people have gotten so used to, it is difficult to know beforehand - and also would you give a reasonable chance without prejudging someone. Even when the signs become more visible and accumulate, those who are used to play another role to the outside than what they have inside will go on denying that what you see is real. That is why the development of and living the real self is so much of importance to me: If it would only be the individual's problem and he/she wouldn't bother anyone, it would be fine. As it is inevitable that humans interact, also the underdevelopment of real selves remains a problem for everyone, not only for the ones directly affected. Such naturally affects also any clown.
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| Beautiful completed sand mandala, the work of many hands and consisting of many many grains. Yet, so easily gone with the wind. Picture by hagsweet found on flickr.com |
As earlier once mentioned, I realize that already the ways men and women meet and live together, sorry to pull this rotten tooth, has most often enough nothing to do with 'love' (though one would assume as 'love' and 'life' are already as words so close together) but are nothing than an ongoing war. An open war sometimes, but most likely, as we call ourselves 'civilized', a cold war.
This is the precondition most of all children these days are born into and grow up in. If parents are aware, they will realize at the very moment a child is born that this is the moment to change. Change life completely, as in the eyes of the new child which have not seen our mistakes we made before, we have the chance to make everything, really really everything, anew.
Most parents don't. Most parents rigidly fall back to exactly what they experienced when having been born and having been children themselves. Additionally, males and females get into severe struggles about roles, powers, positions and such.
Subliminally but effective, what is the biggest chance is the most heavy drawback, too.
It could be overcome by - love. Real love, not attachment, dependency relations and such.
But as described some posts before, most likely the male and female already didn't come together because of love ... so how now create something the preconditions have not existed at all for, create out of the blue for what no fundament was ever layed?
The open war is, though not funny at all, maybe even easier to deal with, especially for children, as what happens is openly visible. The cold war is tricky and mean and the open, perceiving sponge-like minds of children are told that things are not the way they in fact see them. Such 'lies' are deeply disturbing and often cause the souls to flee.
Such, the cold war in a sense causes a more effective damage than the open war. In an open war you can fight or if not, hopefully flee at a point (which is difficult enough also in Western societies, and the support to do so gets massively reduced step by step. See what I mean with backlash?).
A cold war will only end when one of the contrahents breaks up, literally, psychologically, psychosomatically, or if he/she breaks out into an open war (which is often unlikely - the weapons had been chosen long time ago). Who wants to live and bear something like permanent shielding and sleeping with weapons under the pillow in private life? In fact, people do continuously. The get so used to that shooting at the other and getting wounded oneself is normal in relation that this becomes the only state they know.
Most funny of all, they call this cold war due to relational dependencies and subliminal fights for resources and control: 'merry-age' - marriage.
Slowly get it why children can't sort the world around them when they are told things the other ways around than what is - and what is sensible and even visible?
Even relations that don't go for the traditional 'merry-age' can't help from mainly functioning for very simple, often material reasons (the ego, financial reasons, tax systems' incentives and socio-cultural environments push them into): building up something, making it in society, owning something ('you are what you have and can show off'), getting into a good position professionally and crowning all that with the standard traditional 'visible evidence' that they also mate - children, as a proof of fertility and that everything is fine with them and they are fully functioning. Apart from those who simply do it as they do on the discovery channel and obey at the same time Vaticanian rules.
[Here I must insert an information puzzle piece I recently found in a documentary about a Japanese young man who is sent by his father to Tokio to become a Sumo wrestler ("and don't dare to come back home without successful results" - actually, the boy after that also didn't go home anymore but decided to live with a friend). The 'students' get lessons about decreasing fertility rates (1.3 kpc - kids per couple) and the advice to soon marry and make children, to make flourish the society. Well, reminded me of some faschistic stuff that was heard in these areas here around seventy years ago, or so. Wherever you look deeper it gets more shocking, these days. No wonder everyone prefers to close their eyes.]
But back to children here: These then in turn, and by birth already pre-defined to function as instruments to keep illusions working, take over the role of glue (and oven enough also fill in where they see other needs and gaps in their parents) to not allow any of the involved members of that game to wake up, unless those want to break all 'civilizational' rules.
Few do - and get stalked, hunted down, at least socially stigmatized. The system works to sustain the system. If you are not lucky to be born into an open-minded family that supports the development of free will and free individualization by offering supportive leadership, it gets hard to do any other than the environment expects you to.
People use other people in their environment, and apart from their 'partners' also their own offspring, as objects and as instruments - and consider and label it 'love'.
In turn, children learn such patterns as 'functional programmes' and apply them, too.
No wonder that relational matters such ways completely confuse.
It all starts in the closest relation - the parental family, and continues into the next ... and the next .... and the next ...... .
Most likely, the actors don't realize, they are already actors in the show and learned their 'scripts' well. They have since birth (and even before with their 'planning') been part of it.
The defects underneath no one sees or even wants to see. The involved can't/don't see it themselves. Because then they would have to face the consequences of what they see, and that could mean to turn around and change. Change something in their system, or change themselves. It is so convenient ... who wants to lose amenities and face majority's cemented beliefs just to readjust one's own little life? They better sacrifice the (probably) only life they are given and submit it to the environment and constraints created by others and which, out of the sudden, they are part of. Members of a system sustain the system.
And there are so many dogmata which support this belief that I even couldn't count them. Interest groups including religious groups - have clearly no interest in humans to out of the sudden 'understand' that 'something is rotten in the state'(s). (Please understand the term 'state/states' as multilateral as it is.)
I am not the first and not the last to point this out, and there is plenty of good literature existing to get an input or a kick-off for the process of understanding what's going on - and the rest you got to, as usual, track and process yourself. It should interest everyone. It is every one's lives that diverge so much from what they could be to what they in fact are.
Wonder why my view of the world and the people within sometimes sounds 'negative'?
The answer is easy and simple mathematics: it's only the difference between what is idolized and what in reality is ... and that is a negative sum. It will be neutral as soon as people act as what they in reality are, or even positive if they come up with positive surprises.
Have given up dreaming? There's still the option to start dreaming now, and don't steal or break down other people's dreams.
It is so evident in these our societies, and still, people get very agitated when somewhere and somewhen, one or several members of the system break down completely and act out the symptoms clearly, while the whole time it is that false and hypocritic systems and dogmata which cause the members - all people - to break. It is not the individuals that at a point break down who are psychotic - it is the environment, the social/environmental/cultural systems by the sanction of tradition, conservatism and disinterest which is psychotic as a whole.
Of course, there is also a certain amount of people who are psychotic due to other, sometimes endogenic, reasons ... but seen as a whole, it is mainly as described. I once read a funny statement by a psychologist - or was it a sociopsychologist? Forgot. He stated that societies are able to tolerate a certain amount of psychotics and there must be a darwinistic reason why nature brings forth psychotics, too. I am totally contrary to that statement. No society can in principle carry psychotics: As the psychotics flourish, and they do that well and always on the cost of others as they lack own creation energy, real inner values and social skills, they will have broken and torn down at least 5-10 others directly for the sake of their psychoses, and the domino and multiplication effect might even be much, much worse. Not to talk about the generational effect. As those psychos are real reptilish and most often intelligent enough predators, it is rare that anyone faces them (they know to whom to show which face, of course, and how to bundle energies and bind in others into their plans when their asses are endangered - as said, they are intelligent enough) and gets them down to earth.
The few humans who see and try to resist it are being made sick by what they perceive and suffer from the symptoms - but even if they are messengers, they are not the cause. In a world that is so inconsistent and where right is declared to be wrong and the other way around, it is clear that any healthy perception must suffer or even give up at a point.
It is a contradiction in itself and most difficult and complex undertaking to at the same time see and resist.
For the first, walls must be down - and for the latter, they should be erect to protect.
Can you imagine how difficult that gets?
Traumata of our own childhood can not be undone. But we can avoid doing what did hurt us, to others. For that, we need to become aware of our own hurts, wounds and scars, of our vulnerability. Without ignorance, arrogance and other defense mechanisms so many have learned and built up just to deal with what for themselves was in principle unbearable.
So, why write?
(Next try)
- First, I have not abolished my senses and take care well that I won't. I see. I sense. I hear. Better and better, actually. Once started, the process goes it's way. No one can take that away and I wished that would also not be taken away from the children as it is done today.
The mechanisms to blur reality behind nice masks and veils don't function for ever, and the more people try to apply those techniques and mechanisms the more open and finer the senses to detect those manipulistic behaviours will develop in others. I can only encourage people to start as well to look behind the curtains and under the carpets - as there is what you are not supposed to see. - Secondly, I will not allow anyone to take away or ridiculize emotions.
It is a typical Western approach to 'make away' feelings, but also most other 'cultures' and especially very efficiently aggressive ones (all in their own way) on all continents today exist by breaking children by tearing their souls into pieces and turning them into objects and instruments - sometimes more the males, sometimes more the females, but altogether it breaks up what we as humans could be and are meant to be.
Without feelings, emotions, there is also no access to 'see', and without emotional drive which is clearly distinguished from reptilish and animalistic drives, there is no way to resist what goes wrong not to talk to steer onto more fruitful ground. We have to learn about our emotions, learn to accept them to handle them and learn which place they have - and about their huge and underestimated significance. If my lines reach only one soul that finds a reconfirmation what it already has sensed underlyingly and gets strengthened, I am fine. - In context with that, thirdly I have seen so many little selves and souls, mainly women and children but also the more sensitive men, suffer and at a point break, give away their dreams, give away their hopes and all their wishes (the latter is good but only in a highly spiritual sense).
Some become violators themselves (men as women) and break and make suffer others and re- and re- and re-establish the violent system.
But many simply get sick, try to keep up a mask to not be hurt further, fall back into defense mechansism, try to struggle on, try to struggle themselves out but simply can't find ways. I would like to ask them to please not give up searching deeper what is the reason behind. A pill that's thrown in does not heal, it only takes away the painful symptoms. Go searching, be tracking, learn to process. Get hold of any information that is available - and there is. - It is not appropriate to cover up the psychotics in the middle of or even more, at the top of society. It is not 'normal' (despite at the very stage seems to have become the norm) to be psychotic whether narcissistic or any other, it is in reality a socially unbearable aberration despite it looks as if those traits are connected to success. Yet, I am not a judge and also don't want ever to be one. But if people realize that in their very own environment certain people try to get the most and best out of something on the cost of others and that certain persons clearly transgress and override belonging and integrity of other people: say stop. Say no.
Don't fall for false nice faces - have in mind they have trained such a lifetime-, false smiles and false evocations and also don't fall for anything because many people state it (that's actually the trap of democracy, yet we have to find ways to identify what outcomes some statements may have) so that you think it must be true.
Learn about how manipulation functions, and learn to distinguish - as the perfect lyar sounds exactly like someone speaking truth. It is difficult, and for this, we need a functioning emotional body to read between the lines, to read the unspoken information and to find out about the real intentions. - The psychosomatic health results are yet unmeasurable. I would dare to claim that the vast majority of health cases and costs in Western societies is directly related to unhealthy psychological estates people can not withdraw from. Be aware, they will rise even more and will be at a point unpayable - thanks to the tolerance towards psychotics and their violence. Imagine what we could build up with what we permanently have to spend only for re-establishing a halfway doable status instead of a really good one where people can be creative and freely exchange - money, energies, knowledge, resources.
Anyhow, single powers are small, few, little. One to survive is better than none to survive.
And many drops become a stream.
And at the end of the day, each one of us must bear his or her very own face in the mirror.
Maybe you even find what makes the difference between 'fun' and what is meant with 'joy'.
Though fun is also fun and good where it is well-placed - unless it's merely substitutional satisfaction.
Fun you can buy, as you can buy admirers, people around you, 'right', justice', 'merry-age' and even children from such. You can buy distraction any time, food, good looks, women (/men), alcohol, drugs (including what the pharmacy sells you to lessen your symptomatic pain) and you can afford to run away from the tasks life gives you, any time.
Love, life, filledness, completeness of the self, the soul and to feel real joy
even if those are hard to find and rare especially these days
no one will get on that market where money or credit card pays.
At least this is my outcome of the latest experiences: to understand the bible words why no rich will make it to the higher levels, called heavens in that oldish words. They got it just to easy to substitute and buy themselves out from solving their things and buying themselves distraction. Maslow's at it's best.
The other issue I too really 'got' insight is one that many pastors and priests talk long stories around about and still I never understood, just now. It is why no one patches a new piece of fabric on an old dress. Because, just patched, it all still remains nothing but ... an old dress.
Thanking for those, I wish you a real
En-Joy the day!
Lyn
And many drops become a stream.
And at the end of the day, each one of us must bear his or her very own face in the mirror.
Maybe you even find what makes the difference between 'fun' and what is meant with 'joy'.
Though fun is also fun and good where it is well-placed - unless it's merely substitutional satisfaction.
Fun you can buy, as you can buy admirers, people around you, 'right', justice', 'merry-age' and even children from such. You can buy distraction any time, food, good looks, women (/men), alcohol, drugs (including what the pharmacy sells you to lessen your symptomatic pain) and you can afford to run away from the tasks life gives you, any time.
Love, life, filledness, completeness of the self, the soul and to feel real joy
even if those are hard to find and rare especially these days
no one will get on that market where money or credit card pays.
At least this is my outcome of the latest experiences: to understand the bible words why no rich will make it to the higher levels, called heavens in that oldish words. They got it just to easy to substitute and buy themselves out from solving their things and buying themselves distraction. Maslow's at it's best.
The other issue I too really 'got' insight is one that many pastors and priests talk long stories around about and still I never understood, just now. It is why no one patches a new piece of fabric on an old dress. Because, just patched, it all still remains nothing but ... an old dress.
Thanking for those, I wish you a real
En-Joy the day!
Lyn
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