Found a wonderful documentary on my way trying to track some issues which recently bother me. There always is reason why we meet or come nearer, even if for minutes only, to people and their personal stories. Some run an outward life which looks sane but is not. As long as those chains are not broken, also so many others are affected. I really would like to see this stop. Whether it is the many in our so-called civilizations which suffer depressions, or those who suffer other stuff. My aspect is to understand ... and be there where is possible. Though there are limits, for sure. The major issue is actually that we, humans, people, can change things. So where we can, I think, we should.
Not long ago I was pleased to have a longer chat with a friend, and as it usually happens we came to the points that move rather fast. He is a banker, and still in the business. So as he said, he had left the game before the really dirty products where assembled and sold. Well, nice thus far. As many do, he lives a financially comfortable life, travels the world, does business here and there ... and his partner owns the standard refuge for this kind of people in Tuscany. They have their groups of friends, as any have because of need to socialize and show they have and share with alikes. Idyllic and also nice to cover up what would really matter.
So when starting by stating how many there are depressive which actually bothers me a lot because usually people around them co-suffer, in families, at workplace, in society, from actions in minor or major politics, he immediately responded 'well, this is normal!'
I said 'normal? Can't agree with calling an estate which produces lots of suffering for so many people including the affected themselves 'normal'. So well, we discussed this and that, and in the end he told me that not so long ago a good friend had committed suicide and it was found out that she had been depressive.
'And no one had ever noticed before?' I asked (of course).
'No, no one could realize she was. She was always laughing and making fun', he said.
'And what about her partner?' (was of course my next question).
No, he had also not, having been with the woman for around 10 years.
Which makes me wonder once again what kind of relations people have. I know they lead this kind of partnerships, some for decades, some until the ends of their lives. I could not. Simply not. Probably too sensitive and too empathic. I would not like to change for this other way of 'living' which for me is none. So my friend had to take of course a very clear statement of mine. Maybe it helps a little. Hopefully.
A living in bubbles and illusions. A living from bubbles and illusions. A living by bubbles and illusions.
Anyhow, many of my posts are about understanding structure in humans, and as humans form collectives, in sociocultural groups and societies. To me actually everyone is an important part of it all and we could really manage things greatly if we would be honest with ourselves, honest with others and so on and forth ... but this approach contradicts actually some many other interests. Still, I insist on at least my freedom to think. Also this is a high privilege. I cherish. Every day, I must say.
Missed the entry, once again :) O.k., back. The documentary is amazing if anyone is trying to understand some more. It is certainly not everyone's mission to deal with it - then leave it. I know though that there are many more affected which try to live a 'normal' life.
On people with 'multiple personalities' - or Dissociative Disorder.
Soul splinters by souls splintered.
The chance is about understanding more about the societies we live in and what they/we do, all behind (or underneath?) the bright facades. And of course not every case is as severe is these, nevertheless from the scheme of how the brain tries to cope with situations, we may also learn about the re- and actions of less severe. And there is a lot recognizable in daily life people. Somewhat understandable as they ways we all live are not the emotionally and mentally healthiest ones. Especially in our uncritically technology-addict world (I work in tech, so please try to see this in context that I am talking about proper application and proper measure) not much is allowed to be as it would do us good and, if happened, allow us to process and deal with all those many and unnoticed traumata we do to one another. Awareness might ... maybe help to a) not do and b) realize if so to find a better way to heal?
Another maybe helpful hint and what I found just today. I appreciate the author very much though I am not sure which of his publication are available in English language, too.
'Coping under such conditions is only possible by the activation of more
primitive, less complex neuronal circuits (emergency responses) and by
the use-dependent facilitation of self-protective defense reactions
(dissociation, depersonalization, derealization etc.).'
From the abstract on: And nothing will be any longer the same as before... The impact
of early traumatization on further brain development / Und nichts wird fortan so sein wie bisher... Die Folgen
traumatischer Kindheitserfahrungen für die weitere Hirnentwicklung.
Hüther, Gerald, Analytische Kinder- und Jugendlichenpsychotherapie, Vol 33(116), 2002, 461-476.
Source:
APA PsycNET - American Psychological Association
Addition:
Some people are frightened of the word dissociative.
They believe that if someone has a dissociative disorder
that means that a person must have a severe trauma
history. Sometimes that’s true, and sometimes
that is not true. A person can develop a dissociative
disorder just from life’s circumstances. Some
studies have suggested that growing up in a family
where a parent is frightened, frightening, or severely
grieving/depressed during a child’s first years
may be enough to generate the organization of mind
that relies more heavily on dissociative adaptations
to get through the day.
Source:
International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation
To me it is important to understand because I have not only once seen such happen. Without understanding deeper I would not be able to understand more. And it is each time, especially when you really like someone, so terrible to realize how our world really looks like and how difficult it is to get out but more, they pass it on, sometimes not wanting, sometimes not knowing.
And societies are quite under pressure these days. The firsts who will suffer from these pressures are ... ? Guess. The same as usual - those which can the least defend themselves. Psychologically or physically, no matter what.
Lyn
